wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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