I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
