ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
