the new term for farting is butt boxing.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
