I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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