Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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