she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
