all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
