Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
