Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize