if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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