Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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