dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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