Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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