So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
