Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
