Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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