So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
