I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
