Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
