is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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