im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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