I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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