I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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