no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
