kristin has been a bad kristin
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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