You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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