we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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