How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
