a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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