Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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