Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
