so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
