he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
