Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
