Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
