Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
