ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
