my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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