I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
