my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
