Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
as a side note pls kill me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
