Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
