I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
