so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
