I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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