anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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