Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just got carded by a ten year old.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
