I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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