honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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