wrigley field is MILF paradise
she was so not down for the gang bang
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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