my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize