so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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