It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize