The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
