no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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