Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
