did you get engaged???
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
