We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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