so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
