I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
