Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
