I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize