Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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