He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
