I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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