Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
